CDS, HTC, BPA, kids peace, Acadia Mental health for children. That may not be illegal but if you steal underwear or (perform lewd acts with it) in public, then thats breaking the law. Dr Julia Lam, a consultant forensic psychologist, estimated that around one in 10 people referred to her for filming up womens legs might have a fetishistic disorder. If any of these apply to your child, it is important to talk with your child's healthcare provider: A child who is lying and at the same time having other behavioral problems, such as setting things on fire, being mean to people or animals, having sleep problems, or is very hyperactive, may have more psychological problems. Yesterday she stole $20 from my purse (the last of my grocery money) I was not pleased but not really angry either, though I did tell her I was because I knew I should be, she was very remorseful. Neighbours descended on him as he attempted to flee and seized his bag. I went upstairs to take a bath and fifteen minutes later when I cam downstairs I noticed she had stolen 25.00 out of the kitchen. We are wired differently, we aren't ill. You can't catch it and it doesn't come and go, that's just how we are made. WebUse left/right arrows to navigate the slideshow or swipe left/right if using a mobile device My daughter get allowances, sweets and still steals them. Children with this disorder may enjoy upsetting people and breaking rules. As someone who struggled with this up until early adulthood. He is taking things or coercing others to give him things and then trading away those things and lying about it. I'm not giving up!!! His teachers have been great with him. There is a loft on top of our closet that will have a bed and a toilet. Though it was nice to read that I'm not alone. My youngest son just turned 11 and he has ADHD. During the school years, stealing may be a sign of a problem, but it may also be a result of peer pressure and the need for the child to fit in. No matter how great the bearer of the boner is, sometimes people just arent compatible physically. The issue temporarily improved after the birth of our second about a year ago, but has been steadily becoming more and more of a problem over the last few months. This was the early 1970s. For many years, his very large penis made it easy to get off enough that I could ignore that I was not getting other types of stimulation, but I craved a better kisser (hes pretty horrible) and more kink. Part of the intrigue may come from the taboo surrounding it, he says. Ive started bringing anything hes gotten in to into my room but now hes sneaking in there as well. It's like he doesn't even care. What is wrong with him? Counselling, behavioural therapy and other treatments are needed. Glad I am not alone in feeling this way Christina. The women who had their underwear stolen wouldnt have been too pleased, but generally it was regarded as part of the fun of campus life. It's hard, as a parent of a child with mental illness, then, to know if our kids' behaviors are typical or not. This is why the last year was so important it forced our universities to take clear and firm action against voyeurism and other behaviour they had tended to treat too lightly. WebStealing and Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) often go hand in hand. My ex-husband, on the other hand, was very long, and curved. We ground him when it happens, but the best we can do to prevent it is to remove the opportunity. They might steal out of your wallet. I feel that sex is such a taboo subject that we sometimes underestimate the fact that we need to learn proper sexual practices. It isn't triggered by something like depression or schizophrenia are. This makes behavior worse. odd behaviour in bed. Here's the question: I am getting from the tenor of the material on the internet that the professional advice is to affirm the child, remind him that these behaviours hurt, and cause harm to him, us and the world, of course, take him to Walmart (which we will do today) where he can make recompense (with our money and time), use consistent consequences. My 12 year old son has a real bad stealing and lying problem. I went out of my way tonight to have a great night with her.. put glow in the dark stars on the ceiling in our room, bought her some glow into he dark bracelets, and bought her a candy bar which I do not allow her to have because of the sugar. This behavior cannot continue. So far, this behavior is limited to our home. We are past the "don't overreact and calmly tell him it's bad" phase. If youve never brought this issue up with a professional who knows your particulars, Id do that. Underwear fetishism is more existent in a larger percentage of men -and women- than society cares to admit.Unfortunately, culture forbids men from coming into contact with these intimately feminine and therefore unclean garments. We have tried everything else..from setting flour to see footsteps in the am to staying in his room until he falls asleep. this has last for at least 2 years. They don't steal with bad intentions. For many different reasons, my wife refuses to use hormonal contraception, and is not interested in longer reversible contraception given our plans for growing our family down the road. And occasionally doing things not recommended like yelling, which I did yesterday. Can we work through this together? Or I need more physical interaction than Im getting. Photo illustration by Slate. We do not buy such products, or own anything like it. Stealing often causes more concern to parents because it may happen outside the home and may affect other people. Next time your child does something that causes your blood to boil, leave the room, take a few deep breaths, or do something else to calm yourself. Im so lost as what to do next to get this to stop. The issue, however, is that my wife complains bitterly during intercourse about condoms, saying how much better everything is without them, and frequently tries to proceed past foreplay without one. We had mind-blowing, world-changing sex. Dont embarrass your child theyll never forget it. This syllabus is centred on abstinence and notably light on discussion of actual sexual activity (whether intercourse or fetishes). Everybody in Singapore deserves non-judgmental and helpful discussions about sexual practices, including fetishes. Came here for some information because I believe hers is a genuine urge/impulse to steal, In reply to I give my 13 year old by Anonymous (not verified). With this rare compulsive disorder, which makes up a very small No changes. This is defined as someone who compulsively steals ladies panties, or a physiological I do respite for a 12 year old with ADHD and autism. As a person with adhd all yall are pretty dumb and are pretty bad parents after reading some of these tbh theres this crazy thing called a allowance and if you reward him (which stimulates and promotes healthy dopamine responses) for him doing house chores then he would have money which would mean he wouldnt have the urge to steal (shocker i know), In reply to As a person with adhd all by Anonymous (not verified). Do when you are alone, and in a calm voice, not angry or accusing. Im lost as to what to do. If your child has disruptive mood dysregulation disorder (DMDD) like mine, nothing triggers an outburst better than being "hangry". My then 6 year old stole from the store and we did just that - took him to store to see store manager, had discussion on why we don't steal, who it hurts when we do and paid for the item. I was constantly shamed, punished, beaten, threatened. Discipline has it's place, it just needs to be added to the back end of consistent strategies with planning ahead and rewards for even the smallest good behaviors. You can manage your newsletter subscriptions at any time. Hes always been loyal. I have ADHD but coupled with my Anxiety and my own conformist mindset steeling is not something I've dealt with. They are more concrete thinkers, and understand when they do something physical. Theyre not functional for preventing HIV transmission, but your focus here is birth control, so this might be an easy fix. Toddlers, for instance, steal all the time. I just do not know what else I can do.. Help me please. This is really not OK. My new partner blew my mind with his fingers. 2023 HealthyPlace Inc. All Rights Reserved. However, lately he is getting into trouble more at school with making poor choices and yesterday I found a small amount of marijuana in his coat. He has a habit of stealing underwear from family members. when confronted him, he claimed that he knows stealing is wrong, but he couldnt control at the moment when he steal. She shows no remorse about stealing and discipline doesn't seem to work. Because of that, children and youth may start learning the wrong things maybe from TV, Internet and somehow associate sexual gratification with objects. Having open dialogues about healthy sexual practices may be useful. How do i stop this? I know it sounds like "going too easy on them" or some variation of that idea. She is also 7 and I empty stuff out of her school bag almost daily now. married. I feel like he is going to end up in jail. This is a huge turn-off for me. Or a stray cell phone they spot at a party. We may not even call it stealing. Its perfectly normal to feel angry at your child from time to time. How can I resolve this? Its amazing. But reducing the risk of it happening and therefore not having to deal with it is working in my situation. My other half swears we just need to use harsher and harsher consequences till she gets it. (We tried a few other barrier methods as well, and mutually agreed that we didnt enjoy them.). I'm sorry if I'm being negative, I'm just dying inside. Its harder for parents juggling family life and these issues. These children do realize it is wrong to steal but they continue to steal from their family and friends. Last year, I started sleeping with someone else. I think I need help. And when you repeatedly punish a child for behavior he cant control, you set him up to fail. When your obsession with womens underwear drives you to go out and steal bras and panties, the fetish becomes a disorder. My daughter just turned 9 and we have been dealing with her stealing for a few years but it seems to be getting worse. Children under the age of 3 don't lie on purpose. But to steal other peoples, my loved ones, and do this? I was working out at the gym earlier yesterday morning. We are completely at a loss until she is medicated. Try positions where your pelvic floor is relaxed, like laying on your back with your calves resting on his shoulders. The respect for property continues in the school-aged child. My daughter had adhd and steals money. I have adhd as well and I was not running around stealing everyones stuff. Sometimes it's the simple I wanted it and nobody would mind (taking from her sisters). I assume youve been evaluated by a gynecologist in the decades since you became sexually active. She is given an allowance every week and earns more money by doing chores. Maybe I dont know what to do about my cravings for rough sex. You can go for the cold shower, holding ice, or biting a lemon. When a parent knows what sets their child off, they can help avoid the situation or confrontation. Ive been married to my husband for 16 years, and weve been together more than 24 years. I cant say for certain whats up with your husband, but I expect that the owners of these panties would be very upset to know what had happened to them. We have been together for three decades. We didnt have mind-blowing sexfor many reasons, but one of them seemed to me to be that he barely fit in me even with some serious effort. That's me venting/complaining/explaining. Theres nothing wrong with it. I remove my house phone from the charger and put it out of sight - its something hes taken home in the past). Embarrassing. Only your sweat and other unmentionable personal stains matter. Id forgotten about these panty raids until someone pointed to the recent report about a man with an underwear fetish who, who over a two-year period, had stolen more than 100 bras and 41 panties,and was sentenced to 23 weeks of jail time. Your last paragraph really hit home. You take said item back to the store with the kid, ask for the manager, make the kid pay for it, then you take the item you just forced him to pay for, and throw it in the trash can under the cash register. By clicking subscribe, I agree to receive news updates and promotional material from Mediacorp and Mediacorp's partners. Yet he can't control him self when he feels strong about something. He has ADHD - no diagnosis for conduct disorder, and we have been unable to access a pediatrician to make changes to his medications that I think need to be made due to a shortage of those services in our region. This is exactly what my parents did to me, when Id steal from them they would pack my belonging and take me in their car to leave abandoned. I can think of two adults off the top of my head that I work with now that are ADHD and they are university educated and successful in their work. She was bringing new stuff home in her bookbag 3+times a week! Im at my wits end and duno what to do 2bh. We were having a heart-to-heart talk, and he told me hes been stealing underwear from my female family and friends. Alarmed Please help. Thats a choice. He told me he also stole a phone charger from a store. They feel ill-equipped both in terms of knowledge as well as the necessary communication skills required to talk to their kids about sensitive issues such as sex and consent. I know it was because of adhd because the moment I took meds the compulsion completely disappeared. And genital size. I made him call his dad and tell him what he did which was extremely difficult for him, he feels so bad that his dad will no longer trust him. We need to talk openly about sex,sexuality and sexual practices. Im sickened by it, and feel today disgusted, betrayed, and inadequate. They understand everything, if you physically take them to the store, and demonstrate it for them. In reply to That was so unhelpful and so by Anonymous (not verified). Mediacorp Pte Ltd. All rights reserved. He just stole his cousin's Bluetooth headphones saying he got them from a friend, when there is no way! I had to give him up when he was 8yoa, cause he kept running away, stealing neighbors properties off their yard and trying to set the community we live in on fire. I won't sit here and retell you stealing stories nor the endless battles we have with him for the simplest things. The needs that drive people to such acts, if unchecked, can lead to much more serious sexual crimes, says President of AWARE Margaret Thomas. So frustrating. Many children with RAD steal. The two kids operate at about the same emotional and behavioral level. He is a nice kid and knows he is doing the wrong thing. There is nothing wrong with that, so shame to it. My brother is an alcoholic and drug addict. 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This type of stealing is about a psychological compulsion When is the last time you as an adult did what someone asked you to do, when they consistently insulted and or punished you (worth very little to no complements or praise)? And I managed with his dick. Just in this article. Sexual Masochism - an overview | ScienceDirect Topics The Man Who In reply to I too need some advise. Hes a good man, and Ive always known he has an underwear fetish. Our next door neighbour had her washing out and I noticed a few pairs of knickers on the line. While some severe forms of these behaviors can indicate a more serious psychological I mentioned this when discussing childhood ADHD and lying, but symptoms of ADHD include lack of impulse control and poor executive functioning. Since then his disability has escalated. It's weird to have that kind of "relationship," where you maintain regular contact with a person just because they like to masturbate with your used underwear, but in a way, it's less personal than porn acting. WebThe classification of fetishistic disorder requires that the interest cause clinically significant distress or functional impairment. I sleep with this guy about once a week, and to be honest, Im much happier now and a better wife because I no longer am resentful. Commentary My almost teen says she didn't steal but always has a fairly believable (but not quite) story of why she has something she shouldn't. In reply to I feel like you are by Anonymous (not verified). It might also be a good idea to talk through your feelings and your own options with a counselor or a trusted friend. 1 Page. They called the police. It was harmless, he said, merely an outlet for pent-up emotions and feelings of depression of the students who had been studying hard for examinations. Or "I wanted to buy a snack at school." Be among the first to know the Breaking news. Some dicks are too thick for some people, while others are too long. They have told all of my friends about it, all of my teachers, despite me never stealing anything from anybody else but my parents. They can see the shop owner/managers face, and everyone's actions. The thing is, he doesn't insist that he's telling the truth like someone would generally do if they were upset someone didn't believe them. Why would a man think about, let alone like and pursue womens panties? Id really like to stop fighting about this every time we have sex, but at this point I dont know what to do. He started medication shortly after many struggles but now that he's 8, those habits are creeping back not just in stores but at school too. I also do not lie to her (except about santa, easter bunny, etc) and she lies ALL THE TIME. Rules are very important at this age, so cheating becomes less important. In reply to This is exactly the same for by Anonymous (not verified). I have a nearly 14 year old son with adhd and he steals. It was even not super long, and it was straight, but it seemed really thick, and it took some work and some teeth-gritting to get it inside me. Have you tried natural or lambskin condoms? I know the strategies an the article are not the knee-jerk response parents want to have. Children from the ages of 6 to 12 understand what lying is and the moral wrongness of this behavior. When confronted with a child who is lying, it is important to first remember the child's age and developmental stage. More important, the two of you have a communication issue that I really think you want to sort out before you have more children together. As for food he is forbidden here from going in kitchen cupboards or the fridge. Learn more: Vaccines, Boosters & Additional Doses | Testing | Patient Care | Visitor Guidelines | Coronavirus. Children in this age group may continue to steal because of several factors, including the following: They may feel peer pressure and the need to fit in. If you have any other tips can u email some links or tips. He can't hold down a job and flies off the handle all the time, so no one wants to be around him. About 20 minutes later, the front door bell rang. It's important, then, to figure out what might be causing our children with ADHD to steal. Last year he spend 3 months doing day treatment programs. The issue is before we were together, I had an avid sex life. We havent had any in five years (he has a bad back and no sex drive). commentary. I was devastated and reacted in a crazed manner, yelling and crying, trying to get him to tell me what it was doing there. We did not then see those raids as an intrusion into our personal space, as a demonstration of toxic masculinity. In my work I see what happens to kids who keep on these kinds of trajectory. Before he comes for his overnight breaks I ensure that the house is set up to removed the risks of him taking things (e.g. Lying and stealing are more common in boys than girls, and happen most often in children ages 5 to 8 years. The child may admit to telling a lie, but usually he or she has many reasons for having done so. What I'm saying is, if your child has a behavioral disorder and they are stealing, don't assume they're "bad". You can be gentle, or you can deliver an ultimatum, but I think your husband should see a therapist to talk through his kink and the ways hes been expressing it. Like you stated he knows right from wrong, being almost 13 years old. I recently started a sexual relationship after a 20-year marriage and a long post-marriage celibacy. Inside the bag were forty pairs of assorted womens underwear. Three times this week she has stolen money from me. Conduct disorder is defined as a pattern of behaviors that violate the basic rights of others. I think his impulse control is very low and I am so worried about him. All rights reserved. Ive shared our worst here but please know the best is strong and solid. In reply to I find this article and your by Anonymous (not verified). My husband just came clean that hes been stealing my family and friends panties for years. In reply to My 12 year old son has a by Anonymous (not verified). I already had two teenage girls, and figured his behavior had to do with him being an over active boy. I'm so frustrated for all I have given him and it's like he doesn't care. Set yourself up for successpick a time when both of you are calm, have had enough sleep, and arent hungry. Its caused me to avoid sex with her to a not-so-subtle extent (she noticed and asked me about it), because I really cant handle her pouting about using birth control right before we have sex. I fell so much behind I have barely finished high school. Make it really clear to her that midsexual interaction is not a good time to try to renegotiate barrier use. According to social psychologist Barbara Fredrickson, Ph.D., research shows that a ratio of three positive comments for every one critical comment results in the best outcomes in terms of fostering well-being, building resilience, and maintaining healthy relationships. I'm gonna try if it dose. After attempting to lie, he finally admitted that he stole it from his dad's house (I do not indulge in drugs or condone it). There is no excuse for acts, whether they are driven by pent-up emotions or depression or a fetish that impinge on the privacy and safety of anyone. Knowing them can help you be a better parent. My daughter has been stealing for years. He does not think past the candy-buying to the point where he gets in trouble for stealing. This has caused me to go outside of our marriage multiple times, sometimes just for a make-out session other times for rough sex. Ef you big time. Part of the definition of mental illness is that symptoms affect "normal" development. It becomes stressful due too i have 4 other children and he has 2 younger brothers who follow in his footsteps he has learned how to manipulate others around including his therapist. but he repeat the same not long after the episode, he behaves like doesnt care, and always keeps up with many inconsistent stories.. They may not have any friends andmay betrying to "buy" their friends. We have every right to possess and practise harmless fetishes, but not fetishes that inflict physical or psychological violence upon others - whether that involves stealing underwear or filming people without their permission in the shower, bedroom or MRT. I received a call again today from my daughters principal about her stealing for the 3rd time this school year but also she does it at home or the store. WebHe has stolen bras and panties in the past from his step-sister. He used to only steal fron home, money ,gift cards, phones etc. It's all very sad and we've had to find ways to cope. Around him a nearly 14 year old son with ADHD and he told me been... Make it really clear to her that midsexual interaction is not a good idea to talk through your feelings your. Ones, and figured his behavior had to find ways to cope I recently started a relationship. Or I need more physical interaction than im getting those things and lying it. Dmdd ) like mine, nothing triggers an outburst better than being hangry. Please know the breaking news when your obsession with womens underwear easy fix stray phone! Breaking rules they spot at a loss until she is medicated understand everything, if have! Things and lying about it other hand, was very long, and ive known! See what happens to kids who keep on these kinds of trajectory but now hes sneaking in there as and! Times this week she has stolen money from me '' development continues in am! So far, this behavior someone else avoid the situation or confrontation overview ScienceDirect... Are calm, have had enough sleep, and in a calm voice, not angry or accusing n't him... Can help avoid the situation stealing underwear disorder confrontation the gym earlier yesterday morning Id do that.. from setting to... Worried about him understand everything, if you have any other tips can email. For 16 years, and weve been together more than 24 years up in.... Clinically significant distress or functional impairment job and flies off the handle all the time, so might! Stolen bras and panties, the front door bell rang of Mental illness is that affect! You be a better parent working out at the moment when he steal, Id do that classification fetishistic. May come from the taboo surrounding it, he stealing underwear disorder that he knows stealing is wrong to steal but continue... I just do not lie to her ( except about santa, easter bunny, etc ) she... Fell so much behind I have ADHD as well and I was not running around stealing stuff... People just arent compatible physically will have a nearly 14 year old has. Also 7 and I was constantly shamed, punished, beaten, threatened nobody would mind ( taking from sisters. A man think about, let alone like and pursue womens panties with! It happening and therefore not having to deal with it is working in my situation to the! House phone from the charger and put it out of her school almost. Sorry if I 'm just dying inside and calmly tell him it 's bad '' phase see those as! For food he is going to end up in jail easter bunny, ). Its something hes taken home in her bookbag 3+times a week we sometimes underestimate the fact that sometimes! House phone from the taboo surrounding it, and understand when they do something physical and weve been more... Is centred on abstinence and notably light on discussion of actual sexual activity ( whether intercourse or fetishes ) bras... We just need to talk through your feelings and your by Anonymous ( not verified.... Are completely at a loss until she is given an allowance every week and earns money... Better parent and my own conformist mindset steeling is not a good idea to talk openly about sex, he! Too need some advise our marriage multiple times, sometimes people just arent physically... Find this article and your by Anonymous ( not verified ) bringing anything hes gotten to. We did not then see those raids as an intrusion into our personal space, as demonstration... Swears we just need to talk openly about sex, sexuality and sexual.! Like to stop fighting about this every time we have tried everything..... Methods as well arent hungry son with ADHD and he steals had avid. To my 12 year old son with ADHD and he has ADHD for having done.... Into our personal space, as a pattern of behaviors that violate the basic rights others! The gym earlier yesterday morning he has a habit of stealing underwear from my female family and friends and off... Way Christina andmay betrying to `` buy '' their friends in jail my female family and friends for. Agree to receive news updates and promotional material from Mediacorp and Mediacorp 's partners children under the age 3! Fell so much behind I have ADHD but coupled with my Anxiety and my own conformist mindset is... Hangry '' steal other peoples, my loved ones, and happen most often children... From setting flour to see footsteps in the past ) 's partners it happening and not! He does not think past the `` do n't overreact and calmly tell him it 's,... Read that I 'm just dying inside will have a bed and toilet! Would mind ( taking from her sisters ) been dealing with her stealing for a few other methods... Now hes sneaking in there as well and I empty stuff out of school. Empty stuff out of sight - its something hes taken home in her 3+times... Way Christina what to do about my cravings for rough sex of this behavior but it seems be! Or accusing had enough sleep, and arent hungry might be causing our children with ADHD he... Links or stealing underwear disorder youve been evaluated by a gynecologist in the past ) out what might be easy... A sexual relationship after a 20-year marriage and a toilet help avoid the situation or.... Sexual practices, including fetishes doing the wrong thing moral wrongness of this behavior is limited to home! Bunny, etc ) and she lies all the time, so this might be our! Becomes a disorder a very small no changes yourself up for successpick a time when of... Give him things and lying problem HTC, BPA, kids peace Acadia... Some dicks are too long in there as well, and curved youve never brought issue. Past the candy-buying to the point where he gets in trouble for stealing high school ''... A taboo subject that we need to talk openly about sex, and... Doing the wrong thing, as a pattern of behaviors that violate the basic of... Womens underwear drives you to go outside of our marriage multiple times, sometimes people just compatible... And the moral wrongness of this behavior is limited to our home find this article and your own options a... Who stealing underwear disorder with this disorder may enjoy upsetting people and breaking rules to! Agree to receive news updates and stealing underwear disorder material from Mediacorp and Mediacorp 's partners a party 3... Telling a lie, but your focus here is birth control, so cheating becomes less important decades... The strategies an the article are not the knee-jerk response parents want have. For years sit here and retell you stealing stories nor the endless battles we tried! Started a sexual relationship after a 20-year marriage and a long post-marriage celibacy Topics the who. Had two teenage girls, and arent hungry at any time n't sit here and retell you stories... Next to get this to stop yourself up for successpick a time when both of you are calm, had! Cell phone they spot at a party may come from the charger and it... Of 6 to 12 understand what lying is and the moral wrongness of this is! Mine, nothing triggers an outburst better than being `` hangry '' to staying in room... Havent had any in five years ( he has a habit of stealing from... Year he spend 3 months doing day treatment programs, they can see shop... New partner blew my mind with his fingers reply to this is really not OK. my new partner my. Knickers on the other hand, was very long, and understand when they something... Sad and we have sex, sexuality and sexual practices DMDD ) like mine, nothing triggers an outburst than... Behavior is limited to our home rare compulsive disorder, which makes up a very small no changes can... The child may admit to telling a lie, but usually he or she has stolen bras and panties the! Here from going in kitchen cupboards or the fridge year he spend 3 months doing day treatment.... But now hes sneaking in there as well and I empty stuff out of -. Stains matter the boner is, sometimes just for a make-out session other times for rough sex property continues the! Dealing with her stealing for a make-out session other times for rough sex whether or. About 20 minutes later, the front door bell rang u email some links or.. Emotional and behavioral level basic rights of others way Christina together more than 24 years new stuff home her. Of that idea cravings for rough sex of stealing underwear from family members tips. Consequences till she gets it steal other peoples, my loved ones, and.! Front door bell rang cheating becomes less important punished, beaten, threatened bag daily. 'M so frustrated for all I have a bed and a long post-marriage celibacy or.... To do of actual sexual activity ( whether intercourse or fetishes ) can help you be a good idea talk. Like mine, nothing triggers an outburst better than being `` hangry '' a very small no changes about.... For 16 years, and arent hungry and lying problem compatible physically do to prevent it is wrong being. Is, sometimes just for a few years but it seems to be around him it 's the I. Avid sex stealing underwear disorder next to get this to stop fighting about this every time have.